Worst Movies of Summer 2016

Well summer 2016 has come and gone. For better or worse that time has come to celebrate as Amanda Waller might put it, "the worst of the worst," films to be released theatrically on screen from the months between May and August. In order to be on this list, not only it has to be a bad movie with a low rating I gave it*, but the box office results also have to reflect it too. 

*= didn't review but saw.

15) X-Men: Apocalypse*: Generic Superhero film that doesn’t decide what it wants to focus on. A villain that is as generic as every villain in every superhero film ever. Bland to the bone storytelling, and most of all the most confusing film in the franchise due to lack of follow-up tie ins from the DOFP. X-Men Apocalypse is the worst of the new trilogy films and didn’t need Brett Ratner to fuck it up.

14) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Out of the Shadows: Box Office wasn’t that successful and neither its story. The turtles are great but the actors are horrendous. The CG looks undone especially by the 3rd act. And its running length goes on forever. TMNT 2 OUTS, isn’t awful or remotely bad its just there.

13) The BFG: I got bored. I went to bed. Halfway through the film, I walked out and didn’t feel bad about it. It wasn't because I saw it 11 in the morning but was because it was boring as hell. I usually don’t walk out of films. Okay when I mean  but wow Spielberg did it for me. Who knew a film from Spielberg would put me to sleep and convinced me to walk out.  What are the odds huh?

12) The Legend of Tarzan: *insert generic action film here* OH and splat Tarzan’s name on there. Oh and David Yates for good measure. The man is supposed to be the lord of the apes, king of the jungle yet spends 75% of the film getting his ass kicked. Still and never will be MY Tarzan. If you ain't got Phil Collins you ain't got shot

11) Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates: Improv isn’t always funny folks. A film that just kept getting more annoying as it kept going with various of vignettes. It may be based on a true story and a book which is cool but it could’ve been told much better.

10) Now You See Me 2: Saw this the night I saw the premiere of TMNT 2, then left highly disappointed more so than TMNT 2. A movie that throws so many plot twists at the wall to see what sticks when none does. The only thing that prospers from this is an amazing performance from Lizzy Caplan and good production design. Other than that this not so really anticipated sequel is a huge fail. I even went to the premiere, and spent most of my time out the theater cause I really wasn't gonna watch it a second time.

9) Warcraft: Brilliant visual effects from the orcs and bless Duncan Jones for trying his best, but the human actors are stale in a played out fantasy story that is both predictable and makes little to no sense in the third act. With an ending that teases a sequel that you don’t get excited for. Warcraft is another attest to the statement that there are no good video game movies.

8) Batman: The Killing Joke*: Hey this thing went to theaters before being released on Blu-Ray and boy did this shit suck. Based on one of the most controversial and iconic Batman graphic novel this 75 minute full length feature is one half Sex and the City and the other half Joker origin movie. It may have been rated R, but for what reason really? It kept boasting its R rating for what a headshot or two? A huge disappointment of a film in a year DC has been nothing but disappointing.

7) Nine Lives: This is a piece of cat litter needed to be thrown away but hear me out. If you get messed up and give this a shot, you will not be disappointed in the slightest. Watch it sober, you’re gonna questioning why I recommended this. 

6) Alice Through the Looking Glass*: Just put Alice in Wonderland in a Days of Future Past Story and all you get is just a crappy film. An unnecessary sequel nobody was going crazy over that isn’t only bland but dull, uncreative, and most of all very very bad. It has the title that bears the Alice sequel, but nothing from the text 

5)  Jason Bourne: Matt Damon was nominated for an Oscar this year. Alicia Vikander won an Oscar this year. Director Paul Greengrass was nominated for many Oscars including Best Picture for Captain Phillips this year. Now all three are signed on to a franchise action sequel that didn’t need to be made and mostly was the worst of all the Bourne films.

4) Mechanic: Resurrection: A sequel to a film that was once intense and is now lame and dumb. This has Jason Statham on vacation with Jessica Alba in a romance that makes no sense, a generic action film that makes even less so. With a name like Mechanic: Resurrection its just a shame that this should’ve just been dead.

3) Ice Age: Collision Course: HEY DO YOU HATE YOUR KIDS? DO YOU THINK LOW OF YOUR KIDS? DO YOU THINK YOUR KIDS ARE STUPID? Well congrats you took them to see the 5th Ice Age movie that is nothing but a money laundering cash grab of a sequel that has no reason to being made and nothing valuable to say. Barely entertaining and thoroughly annoying Ice Age 5 is the worst and hopefully the goddamn last. And if it isn't I'm going to lose my fucking mind.

2) Suicide Squad: Hey DC you had one fucking job. ONE JOB and you fucked it up. All you had to do is make a decent ensemble superhero film about super villains. The antagonist sucks, the tone is off, and the film plays like every goddamn superhero movie with dull action sequences and one too many one dimensional characters. This had a bigger opening weekend and broke the box office record for any film in August since Guardians of the Galaxy in August 2014. In Guardians defense, a larger portion of movie goers didn’t know who they were and thought low of the film prior its release. But most people know the members of the Suicide Squad and was anticipated for the film since its announcement only to be a huge, ginormous disappointment. Our only hope is for The Lego Batman Movie next year. Critics didn't like it, I didn't like it, my friends didn't like it and the ones that did are very reluctant to call it bullshit because they still have the perception that DC can still do some good films. 

1) Ben-Hur: Nobody saw this remake. Nobody needed this remake. And most of all it wasn’t all that epic as it tries so hard to be. It was predicted to suck from the start and didn’t cease to stop proving it with each second of it. Usually biblical  and faith based films make the most money no matter what, but this was failure on both ends to both Christian moviegoers and general audiences. Its not that bad, but nobody even cared to give it shot for they just went back to their Ben-Hur VHS and rewatched it. Well I know I did

As we say goodbye to summer, we are also saying goodbye to these stinkers. They won't be missed, but won't be forgotten. Well hopefully some of them were. So here they are the top 15 worst films of Summer 2016! What do you think of my list? do you agree? List your thoughts in the comment section below.