Fifty Shades of Grey Review
R: Strong Sexual Content including Dialouge, Full Frontal Female Nudity, Some Unusual Behavior, and Language
Universal Pictures, Focus Features
2 hrs and 5 Minutes
Cast: Dakota Johnson and Jaime Dornan
Editor’s Note: This review was originally published during my adolescence. Outdated language might be seen in these old posts. Since then, my thoughts and values have grown. This review is being presented as they were originally written, grammatical errors and typos and all. Because to do otherwise would be that same as claiming these flaws has never existed.
BACKSTORY: Wednesday February 11th, I take my mom to the 50 Shades of Grey screening. Wanting to avoid awkwardness watching a porno in the shape of a film with my mom I decide to go downstairs to watch Jupiter Ascending in 3D. As you can tell, I wish I saw 50 Shades...............(and eventually I did). Well that Saturday I was hanging with friends to watch a movie. Since the guy to girl ratio was 2:3 (plus I needed to redeem myself from walking out of the sex scene from 300) we watched 50 Shades of Grey. And it was BULLSHIT!
STORYLINE: When Anastasia Steele, a literature student, goes to interview the wealthy Christian Grey as a favor to her roommate Kate Kavanagh, she encounters a beautiful, brilliant and intimidating man. The innocent and naive Ana starts to realize she wants him. Despite his enigmatic reserve and advice, she finds herself desperate to get close to him. Not able to resist Ana's beauty and independent spirit, Christian Grey admits he wants her too, but on his own terms. Ana hesitates as she discovers the singular tastes of Christian Grey - despite the embellishments of success, his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, and his loving family, Grey is consumed by the need to control everything.
REVIEW: For what it's worth, director Sam-Taylor Johnson does a pretty decent job trying her best to adapt this shitty book to the big screen. The film manages to have great production design and lighting for throughout. There is also great cinematography and camera movements where in some shots, you are just astounded by how much work and craft was put into the backdrop of the scenery.
From the perception of my mom, she expressed how the performances from the leads are strong especially from Johnson, who for most of the film stands her ground. From my standpoint I completely agree, but wow, isn't the dialogue they're given the most generic and lazily written words I have witnessed onscreen. It is not only the script they're given but the story the leads are put in that makes it worse. The characters are so confusingly complicated that they're retarded. PLEASE TELL ME WHAT DOES CHRISTIAN GREY'S BUSINESS SPECIALIZE IN THAT MAKES HIM SO POPULAR! From all I've seen, he's just a creepy stalker to Anastasia who just loves to have sex.
Speaking of sex, the countless sex scenes in this film are so over the top that it doesn't even account as either sexy or cute. It's really is just awkward and uncomfortable.It's even borderline misogynistic where you see more of Dakota Johnson's nude body than Jaime Dornan. By the time she takes her clothes off towards the end, I just felt sorry for her. What I count as a sin when it comes to film is when it forcingly inserts all of its songs from its soundtrack into the film and makes them feel out of place. "Fifty Shades" manages to do that too! Whoever edited the film is obviously an amateur, because not only he/she inserted the songs to feel unnatural, but also makes all of the transitions feel the same. Seriously almost every 3rd transition you are hissing at the screen because it just cuts from night to bright daylight (NO FADES WHATSOEVER).
LAST STATEMENT: As beautifully shot and designed the production was, 50 Shades is an incredibly unsexy and misogynistic piece of shit with no story or developed/ likablecharacters.
Rating: 1.5/5| 31%
Super Scene: Helicopter riding with creepy billionaire boyfriend
