Fifty Shades of Black Review
R: Strong Crude Sexual Content Including Some Graphic Nudity, and For Language Throughout
Open Road FIlms, Baby Way Productions, IM Global
1 hr and 32 minutes
Cast: Marlon Wayans, Kali Hawk, Affion Crockett, Mike Epps, Fred WIllard, King Bach, Jane Seymour, with Jenny Zigrino, and SADLY FLORENCE HENDERSON
BACKSTORY: Nope not here.
STORYLINE: A "parody" of 50 Shades of Grey where an inexperienced college student meets a wealthy businessman whose sexual practices put a strain on their relationship.
REVIEW: I got nothing. I'm dead inside. It's sad because besides trying to run this site, I work so hard to become a great filmmaker to make movies that tells stories about personal experience with characters you can both sympathize and relate to. My entire school is one big group of people wanting to become great filmmakers. But in Hollywood you got motherfuckers like Marlon Wayans who ride off the dollar of other films to create parodies of. It's pretty much Marlon Wayans watching Fifty Shades of Grey on mute and taking out a piece of paper to write a script on as he does his own commentary on it. Then after he's done watching the film with a "completed" script, he just insert references here and there and to top it off, take a huge dump on the "script" and send it to Hollywood. We have African Americans in Hollywood protesting against the lack of diversity in the Academy Awards. Well I'm sorry, but we got Marlon Wayans that prove to us why we haven't been getting any Oscar nominations since 2013. Since the entire protest by African American stars in Hollywood we have had the release of FIFTY SHADES OF BLACK TO REPRESENT US. Can we as a culture not embrace Marlon Wayans as one of our own? Can he not represent us in Black Hollywood, because after watching this shit I'm convinced Marlon Wayans is a self hating black man. I'm not gonna lie this film brought the racist out of me, and I'm not racist. The first two words that came out of my mouth as walking out of the theater was a vulgar/racist comment towards Wayans. You may be asking yourself, "but Rendy what's so wrong about Fifty Shades of Black that makes it worse than Fifty Shades of Grey?" Well let me explain it to you. First thing about Fifty Shades of Grey that never did was to try to offend you with racist jokes unlike this film does. There are an overabundance of offensive racist jokes that spit out to White people, Asian people, and of course/especially black people. With most of the black jokes you don't only get the slang jokes that are unfunny, you also get the "black people eat fried chicken" joke, the "child support and child abandonment" joke, the "black people steal stuff" joke etc. etc. that dates back to his last spoof franchise A Haunted House. You get every stereotypical black joke that goes into pop culture references that are so irrelevant and just comes off angering even down to jokes that goes towards police brutality, rape, Bill Cosby, and Wesley Snipes tax returns. For some reason, the movie takes the cutaway style of Family Guy to constant unnecessary gags that goes on for 5 minutes or sometimes even longer for a dumb joke that reference other movies within the one movie that is the parody. IF YOU'RE MAKING A PARODY MOVIE STAY CONSISTENT WITH THE FILM YOU'RE PARODYING! DON'T GIVE ME REFERENCES TO WHIPLASH, MAGIC MIKE, AND ZERO DARK THIRTY! AND NONE OF THOSE CUTAWAYS OR JOKES ARE REMOTELY FUNNY! Then he has the audacity to make a joke about Kevin Hart getting more roles than other black comedians like himself. I'm sorry, KEVIN HART IS ACTUALLY FUNNY! He doesn't make movies that stereotypes black people and when he does, it makes me laugh my ass off. I mean I LIKE GET HARD! GET HARD CONSISTENTLY MAKES ME LAUGH! I only laughed in this film 10 times and they were sporadically and came in little increments. But the jokes that got me screaming in agony and pain and most of all in anger was the constant genital jokes in relation of black people. The film doesn't shy away from showing penis and balls but that's not a compliment since it constantly gross you out. Seriously we see swollen dick and balls in a stripper scene, a long black penis as it's an elephant's trunk as it drags on the floor, a big nutsack and Wayans throwing a shirt with shit on it onto a woman. AND I KEPT SCREAMING AS IF I WAS TORTURED. BELOW ME THERE WAS AN ASIAN GUY WHO WAS LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF. EVERY TIME I YELLED AT THE GROSS OUT HUMOR HE TURNED TO ME LAUGHING AND NODDING AS IF HE WAS TELEPATHICALLY ASKING ME IF I WAS ENJOYING THIS TOO AND I GAVE HIM A LOOK THAT SAID GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE BEFORE I CHOKE THE SHIT OUT OF YOU BECAUSE OF MARLON WAYANS! Believe me how many people in my friends and family, I convinced not to see this. I got so angry to a point that when I went home, I signed a petition on change.org by Korey Coleman from Doubletoasted.com to stop Marlon Wayans from making movies for theatrical release. I have no respect for Marlon Wayans at all. After I saw this film I blocked him on my instagram. I never had so much detestation for an actor let alone an African American one and this film proves that this is why we [African Americans] cannot advance in the world of cinema because Marlon Wayans has sucked the soul out of black actors.
LAST STATEMENT: As I grow older and become more mature with my age and humor, I see Marlon Wayans grow older and more immature with his and this film is truly the proof in the pudding. Fifty Shades of Black is just another Marlon Wayans production that insults not only the audience and demographic that it goes for, but just insults African Americans as a race which we should not either encourage or embrace.
Rating: 0/5 | 5%
Super Scene: Marlon Wayans' Black gets whipped by Hannah as she apologizes for all the women beaten in film recently including Dakota Johnson in Fifty Shades of Grey.
