Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 Review
PG: Violence
Sony, Columbia Pictures, Happy Madison Productions
1 hr and 34 Minutes
Cast: Kevin James, Raini Rodriguez, David Henrie, Neal McDonough, Loni Love, D.B Woodside, with Daniella Alonso, and Eduardo Verastegui
Editor’s Note: This review was originally published during my adolescence. Outdated language might be seen in these old posts. Since then, my thoughts and values have grown. This review is being presented as they were originally written, grammatical errors, shitty sentence structure, and typos galore. Because to do otherwise would be that same as claiming these flaws never existed.
BACKSTORY: Saturday April 11th, I go to the premiere of Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 and believe me it was a really weird experience. While watching the film, every person was cheering and clapping and whooing for every stupid comment and or less known actor appearance. As my best friend Gil said,"wow I never seen anybody get so excited for a D list actor before." Before the film I got a picture with Kevin James, but after watching this I 50% regret doing that.
STORYLINE: Six years since the first film, we find Paul Blart lonelier than ever due to Amy leaving him six days after marriage and his mom passing away. Now he has earned a well deserved vacation so he heads to Vegas with his daughter Maya before she goes to college. But when he discovers that people are planning to steal art from his hotel, Blart decides to take matters into his own hands.
REVIEW: Out of all the shitty Kevin James movies, I always favored Paul Blart: Mall Cop out of the rest. unlike his other films such as Zookeeper and Here Comes the Boom, Paul Blart was mediocre at best. It was funny in more places and it had legit heart without it being manipulative. NOW in Mall Cop 2, all the charm Paul Blart had is fucking gone. Due to all his losses Blart is more of a bitter asshole. Its hard to really like him in this film cause he talks shit to everybody including to his daughter and a hotel manager whose subplot serves no purpose in this "story." The story here is just the same setup, as the first film but set in Vegas so that means more unfunny gags. But if you think the script gave no fucks at all, boy believe me when I say the production just glows with don't give a fuckery. The editing is so sloppy where the continuity is extremely incoherent. There is a scene where Blart is fighting a CG goose and it looks so damn bad that it makes the peeing deer in Grown Ups 2 look like an Oscar winning achievement. The humor here is dumb comic violence, bad visual gags and then also very dark jokes that are too fucked up for a kids film that's unrightfully played for laughs. There are some good laughs in this, but it comes in very small doses. Besides the really strong (and funny) opening of the bombshell that is reality that immediately turns to fantasy. Sadly there's a 1:20 ratio of jokes that actually work.
LAST STATEMENT: Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 isn't as much as an abortion of a sequel that shouldn't been made, but more of a diarrhea ball of shit you wish you never took.
RATING: 1.5/5| 30%
Super Scene: Mall Cops vs Criminals
